so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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