Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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