Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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