saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
