How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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