Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
