I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
