Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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