some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
