Already got asked if we're dating
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
