if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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