Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
