Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
