Sry I called you an 8
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
