come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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