butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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