i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
