She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
