So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
