I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
