Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
