dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
