Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
