Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
