sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
