Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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