What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
