Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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