I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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