spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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