Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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