Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my being single is dangerous.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
