Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
