All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
