we're blogging at a bar
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
