If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
