This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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