My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
