Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
nutella sex= disaster
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
