I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
