Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
