so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
