No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
