he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
