i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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