I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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