Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
