Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
