she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
