Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
